Context, at the start of our last week together, I told him I'll be there for him. I totally was confident that I will be, despite all the shade I threw and heavy thoughts about what he did that kept on coming all throughout the week.
On Saturday was the wake of his baby brother (RIP Javi, we will miss you terribly.), and I bravely asked my parents if I could go, considering that I have just made up with my mom after learning that I was still hanging out with the person who cheated on me and replaced me with someone else.
My parents then explained to me that they know I still love him, but then I have to stop hurting myself by loving him. And that means I have to stop making him dependent on me because it will damage us both in the long run as we get deeper and deeper into that emotional trap.
What he can't understand, even after that 2-3-hour phone call, is that how can you do this to people you love.
First of all, I was not allowed to anymore. Talking to him would just defeat the purpose of giving him the space he needs but doesn't want.
Second, I am willing for him to hate me, loathe me, unlove me, just for him to take this opportunity to grow. He was at his lowest point. TBH with you, I was just following orders. Orders that seemed cold, but weren't. They were objective.
I had to be on the colder side. I am too soft to hurt the one who hurt me, that is not just who I am. A person's lowest point will determine their strength, and this is the best opportunity for him to grow. And I love him, so I would not be selfish and steal him away from that chance.
I don't care if he hates me, I do but, he needs to grow up and be mature and this is his chance. I love him, so I'm letting him go.
This is a very eventful day, that I think might have just ended it all for the both of us.
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