Saving Lives

Somehow, my decisions this year have been spontaneous but serious. This year, I have decided to take medicine not before I decided to pause for a year before entering college--combine that! I am now preparing for my pre-med and I would definitely not say that it is too late. Not because all the exams in my current location had passed, I will stop dreaming to be a trauma surgeon or something. I am bound to take the SAT or the Scholastic Aptitude Test this 2014 such that I could submit my applications to Harvard, Stanford, University of Chicago, Vanderbilt University and other universities in the United States of America that I could try really hard to be in. Passing those universities may seem like being a needle picked-up from a bundle of beautifully created needles, but I have to take that chance even if it is 1x10 raised to negative 1,000,000 possible.

People say I am smart although I am not using that gift wisely (Okay, I would certainly not focus on my insecurities in this blog post) In 6 months or so, I will focus on making myself "desirable" to the eyes of the admissions personnel or to everybody. It is a hard path but why take the easy path where you won't gain knowledge, experiences and strength? I'm actually getting pretty excited about this. I love it! In fact, when I go book shopping, I am always attracted to books that are medicine-related. Currently, I am reading Emergency! by Mark Brown, M. D. (Who wouldn't want an "M.D." after her name?!!!) It is a compilation of true stories. I have not reached the end of the book but it already have made me cry (very much!) last night. I was crying to the point that it made me rethink my decisions, but in the end, I decided I will still continue my dreams and actions. The book contained short stories (and I mean "short" but true) from different doctors/physicians. The story that made me cry was about a baby who was struggling to achieve life which it got in the middle of the story because they saved it by putting a ventilation tube in it. It was saved and had life, one of the most special gifts God is giving us. The resident called the neonatologist to arrange a transfer. She said she needed a weight of five hundred grams or more. If less, the baby would not survive the resuscitation. With almost everyone in the ER watching, the resident weighed the baby. Less than five hundred grams. With the neonatologist still on the line, she told the resident "Just pull the tube and forget about it." The resident thought Easy for her to say. She wasn't looking at the kid. Everyone stood there, mute, watching the resident remove the tube. Like a usual patient, they continued attending to other patients. Although, the resident kept looking at the baby in the room, still breathing, struggling for life. Group of people visited the room such as policemen (who took their hats off) and nuns. It was brutally killing me with my emotions. The last time she looked at the room, it was cleared. After those agonizing moments, to the resident's relief, it was all over. After all of what happened, the mother did not care. The resident, in the end, said that it was a pity that the baby was unnamed. It deserved better. WHO WOULD NOT CRY TO THAT?!

Anyway (please, if you would still want to cry more, you could stop reading this for a moment and cry your heart out. The resident's delivery of the story is much more effective) I don't know if I could pass a good university for my pre-med so to all those who are reading this, please do pray for me. I want to save lives. I want to. If I become a doctor, I will really do my best to not get a lot of TODs (time of death) because life is special. Life is a choice and almost all the people in the ER choose to live, and I choose to help them with their decision. I really want to be a doctor and I hope I will be. I also pray that I would find happiness in what I do during the process of being a doctor so that I would be driven to save lives. I pray for the safety of all. I pray for everyone.